Sea Otter Poem: Revised Draft

Feedback is still to come, as we did not have time to review my poem tonight at group. Instead, I continued working on the poem on my own, after having taken a different direction in my approach to the content earlier today.

Previous posts with draft text of this poem can be found here and here.

A few excerpts of the latest draft follow.

Realized from shore, what do 
we dredge up to this horizon?

A seascape we have not seen
peers to us watchers of wild,
whose eyes by turns troll, 
and bail, and then decant. 

The cold coast is newer to us,
farther from land-home, than  
the smaller ocean edging 
elder world from younger.
Flattened flickers of ocean
tongues lap the beach, where
remnant foam re-gathers 
in the formless current and 

jutted surf-wash, rinsed
by sprawling shadows,
promontories kissing back.
They never tire of the affair.

Past that crusted boulder, 
its girth and rough ribs, 
we gaze and scan the weedy 
waves with craning necks.

Do I mistake otter scuttle for 
the hollow of a larger peak?
No mistake, yet no encore.
Porpoising, and then a raft,
the insulated mother floats, 
one pup suckling; now hunts, 
scratches, stones fresh mollusks. 

Sharp teeth keep urchin counts 
checked, and kelp alive, frond 
forest tall, sound, swaying true 
for sea otter sunrise, more life.

Follow this poem’s evolution from start to finish:

  1. Raw Poetic Materials: Sources and Destinations
  2. Wildlife Poem: Sea Otter in Progress
  3. Otter Poem: Today’s the Day
  4. Sea Otter Poem: Revised Draft
  5. Sea Otter Poem, 4th Draft: Reaching Revision Goals

6 thoughts on “Sea Otter Poem: Revised Draft

  1. Pingback: Sea Otter Poem, 4th Draft: Reaching Revision Goals | Philosofishal

  2. Pingback: Raw Poetic Material: Sources and Destinations | Philosofishal by Carrie Tangenberg

  3. Pingback: Call of the Wild Poetry | Philosofishal by Carrie Tangenberg

  4. Pingback: Wildlife Poem: Sea Otter in Progress | Philosofishal by Carrie Tangenberg

  5. Pingback: Otter Poem: Today’s the Day | Philosofishal by Carrie Tangenberg

  6. Pingback: Five-Phrase Friday (23): Cool Creatures | Philosofishal by Carrie Tangenberg

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